I am Kike (pronounced Keekay, get it right, readers). I am a 4 year old Tonkinese cat and this is my journal of the trials and tribulations I face as a house cat who is smarter than her humans and brother combined.
14th January 2015
I am furious! My slave had the audacity to shut the bathroom door IN MY FACE. She knows I like to monitor her in there. Back when I was a kitten I made the mistake of allowing her to go to the bathroom alone. I am ashamed to admit I was busy playing and not taking my slave monitoring responsibilities seriously enough. She took advantage of my lapse and slipped by me, leaving the house without explanation, a pat or even a treaty. Since then I have been more careful.
She knows not to go in there alone. She knows to wait for me, no matter how long I take to arrive. She must not be allowed to think she can sneak off without the necessary procedures.
Today, she waited as trained, but when I stopped outside the threshold for a stretch–I like to keep her in her place–she shut the door on me. How dare she? I should have stopped in the doorway. That was my mistake. A stupid, schoolgirl error. I shall not be that idiotic again. I yowled and screamed, ensuring she could not use the bathroom in peace. I used my fowlest language to ridicule and berate her. She will not be defying me again so easily.